"Deadly Payoffs: Why I Risk It" by Felista Wambui Wangari

DEADLY PAYOFFS: WHY I RISK IT

Dear auntie, when you sat me down

And told me to be careful in my relations with men

I knew you did it out of love

Don't get me wrong, I listened

And took in all you had to say

But auntie, I did not have a boyfriend then

So I thought, "It's so easy to be safe."

Dear auntie, I was so lonely

O how I longed to be loved by a man

Then he came into my life

And swept me right off my feet

I remembered your advice

And vowed to keep myself safe

But I did not know I would fall so deep in love

So I said, "I'll be safe, It's so easy"

Dear auntie he treats me so well

I feel like a princess, a star

And then came the moment

He asked me to have sex

I did not know his status, neither he mine

But it felt so natural, so safe

Even without protection

The only risk on my mind was

"Would I get pregnant?"

Dear auntie, he has three other girlfriends

I found their photos, and some used condoms at his house

I felt uneasy, could I be at risk?

And when I confronted him, he assured me

Nothing to worry about

We still do it unprotected

I wonder, "Am I really at risk?"

Dear auntie, they teach us all about HIV

In school, on tv and on the radio

Why then, do I not make good choices

To keep me safe from HIV

Auntie, I've never felt so loved before

And I do not want to lose his love

So even with all I know, I still put myself at risk