"Deadly Payoffs: Why I Risk It" by Felista Wambui Wangari
DEADLY PAYOFFS: WHY I RISK IT
Dear auntie, when you sat me down
And told me to be careful in my relations with men
I knew you did it out of love
Don't get me wrong, I listened
And took in all you had to say
But auntie, I did not have a boyfriend then
So I thought, "It's so easy to be safe."
Dear auntie, I was so lonely
O how I longed to be loved by a man
Then he came into my life
And swept me right off my feet
I remembered your advice
And vowed to keep myself safe
But I did not know I would fall so deep in love
So I said, "I'll be safe, It's so easy"
Dear auntie he treats me so well
I feel like a princess, a star
And then came the moment
He asked me to have sex
I did not know his status, neither he mine
But it felt so natural, so safe
Even without protection
The only risk on my mind was
"Would I get pregnant?"
Dear auntie, he has three other girlfriends
I found their photos, and some used condoms at his house
I felt uneasy, could I be at risk?
And when I confronted him, he assured me
Nothing to worry about
We still do it unprotected
I wonder, "Am I really at risk?"
Dear auntie, they teach us all about HIV
In school, on tv and on the radio
Why then, do I not make good choices
To keep me safe from HIV
Auntie, I've never felt so loved before
And I do not want to lose his love
So even with all I know, I still put myself at risk

